life$tyle of a teenage dirtbag

conflict

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:14:00 GMT

it was a surreal experience and i just couldnt stop

you know sometimes

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:24:14 GMT

i feel as is life is just going okay

private thoughts

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 07:23:24 GMT

do you ever wonder why the best person to talk to is yourself?

its been awhile

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 04:49:56 GMT

i havent been on my blog in awhile, i guess its because i havent had the time or didnt think i needed to write in it anymore, but it turns out i do. life update:
im still with my bf of 17 months, we're pretty content, but there are times he drives me crazy.
theres one thing that really bothers me though, i feel like im losing touch with other friends. i had my best friend lose her boyfriend this summer, and i dont even talk to her. i miss my friends i used to hang out with at school, i know they graduated but it seems as if they were my big sisters and now i text them maybe once every two weeks. where has everyone gone? have i secluded myself so much from anyone other than my boyfriend that i no longer have time or a place for everyone else? one of my best friends the one who's been with me through everything is someone i call once a month. is it just me? or am i being controlled? maybe its the fact that i no longer have time... with school, college approaching, and the balancing of certain friendships as well as keeping my boyfriend happy. at times i wish i could just go away for a week, no phone no computer no contact with anyone, just me myself and i.
...ohhh to dream

life is a blur now

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 05:29:06 GMT

you have no fucking idea.

ohh

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:20:07 GMT

i am so fucking depressed,
i feel like life is collapsing around me,
slowly brick by brick,
my foundation is crumbling as the basis of my life
and i literally have no one
because theyre the ones collapsing.

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 09:13:37 GMT

when i feel most secure in "us"
you tend to screw it up

i am now an activist

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:49:14 GMT

no on 8 means no on h8

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:00:31 GMT

I've been up since 3...
and i cant seem to sleep.

for some reason

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:43:12 GMT

you said the things you said tonight which striked me as odd...
i have no idea what happened to "always being there for me"
yeah i knew you ignored some stuff, but why?
the reasons you gave me i know werent legit.
i just wish you'd still talk to me instead of labeling me as a fail because of my pathetic love life.
im happy at the moment
can't you understand that?

how come

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 01:26:46 GMT

when you say it its some grand romantic gesture.
but when i say it i'm "desperate"?

im getting over it

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:07:37 GMT

but it kills me to know you already did
i cant fight this feeling of being sad
it comes up so suddenly

life in general

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 06:58:37 GMT

i learned a lesson this year

love yourself before you love anyone else.

empathy

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:11:40 GMT

She's just a friend, you see
you always agree
you know i lie but you still trust me
and you believed in so much hope
but i'm the one who let you go

now that we're done i'm so sorry
why did i lie i'm so sorry
i know i hurt you
i know i hurt you

you still call my phone
cause you still want me
i'll tell my friends you're so annoying
you'll cry and curse when you're alone
but laugh and flirt when we're on the phone

now that we're done i'm so sorry
why did i lie i'm so sorry
i know i hurt you
i know i hurt you

now i see you with him
it was nothing like i thought it'd be
(i'll break down
for you)
it was nothing like i thought it'd be

now that we're done i'm so sorry
why did i lie i'm so sorry
i know i hurt you
i know i hurt you

now that we're done i'm so sorry
why did i lie i'm so sorry
i know i hurt you
i know i hurt you

i cant stand

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 21:22:00 GMT

that everyone's leaving for school

nalani, just left for frisco
so did martine
and now marissa's going to san diego
=/
jeez i'm having a bad month

well

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:52:10 GMT

it still hurts
but i guess if you can get over me so quickly i can too right?

its a shame though
i wasted more than a year

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 05:51:01 GMT

"ariel, ariel your crying made me miss my favorite part of the song"

its over

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 04:47:12 GMT

10 fucking months
and its over

dont give me your
"baby i miss you" shit
because i know your telling it to 10 other girls
you were never a guy who could commit were you?
i'm trying to play nice as of now
but we all know its gona end in a heartbeat
because the minute you fuck me over, i'll be gone faster than you could break it off.
right now its cheap hook ups and no emotion
i dont care anymore
dont tell me i'm pretty because i dont believe you at this point
it would have been fine if only you didnt behave the way you typically do
sorry
i'm not going to have sex with you.

i knew it would happen sooner or later

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:47:40 GMT

temptaion got the best of me.
and i fucked up by letting you in on something you weren't suppose to know about.
but, maybe just maybe this is karma for something your up to?
did you ever think i might suspect something?
you tell me we have something that can never fall apart
when everyday its like a crack in a dam
little by little it'll take hold and become a flood.
whoever reads this as you can tell i'm dealing with some shit.
not to mention the fact that my dad might be unfaithful
i write this not to get attention but to make aware of how much i distrust the opposite sex.
its never been right.

the life you told me

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 19:55:29 GMT

was going to be us together,
is now something i reached for but see no longer
i hope you know this hurts possibly more than anything has hurt me.

for some reason, everytime i look forward to something, it seems to horribly go wrong

again

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:31:08 GMT

you want to leave,
you havent even come back and your already thinking of leaving when you do.
i dont know anymore, you say "be strong for me"?
i wont say this to you on the phone but,
isnt that a little selfish?
havent i waited long enough?
dont you think i've been a pretty fucking good girlfriend?
i think your extremely self centered
to think that i might wait 6 more months

your true colors come out baby
and i dont think i want to be here to see them.
its either goodbye today or goodbye tommorow,
but its gona happen sooner or later

side glances

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:19:29 GMT

i know i looked at him the wrong way with sex on my mind
but can you blame me?

its been awhile...

for some reason

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 23:41:04 GMT

i dont think anythings gonna change
your so fucking sketch

dirty girls say they miss it
like i'm not suppose to fucking know

you dont even

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 04:52:08 GMT

bother,
but yet you can talk to other people right?

your fucking pathetic

sdfghjk

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:20:00 GMT

It's Friday night and she's all alone,
He's a million miles away.
She's dressed to kill, but the TV's on,
He's connected to the sound.
And he's got pictures on the wall
Of all the girls he's loved before,
And she knows all his favorite songs.

Her boyfriend,
He don't know
Anything
About her.
He's too stoned